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Photo by Michelle Kim

Wrote this poem for a friend.

There you go
going on and on
telling me about your dreams,
there is a wonder in your voice I hear
that sounds like a plan
I can only yearn to be a part of.

You smile
and my mouth pulls up too
but here I am by your side
dying little by little
haunted by the words
I could never tell;

held up by my heart
that has always been
enamored by every tiny speck
that makes up of you.

But I guess I’ll forever
remain this way-
torn between the fear of
me finally saying
and you
truly knowing

so I’ll just spend
days and nights hearing you out
instead of freely falling
as much as I would want to.

The Story Of You (And I) // Alve Aranton

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Songs You Should Listen To Vol 1

A few days back, Pearl was posting songs from a youtube channel called, TheLazyLazyMe, which features rare songs from independent musicians. Just a few minutes into the first song I clicked into, and I instantly fell in love. I listen to independent music more than I listen to mainstream music and upon discovering that youtube channel, I knew I was going to be floating above the clouds. Here are a few song recommendations I think you should listen to right now. They are a guaranteed ear-candy!

Dancing by Mellow Fellow

Listen when: you feel like slow dancing in a sun lit room with the one you love. Or just dance alone by yourself, that’s fine anyway.

 

Candy Wrappers by Summer Salt

Listen when: you’re out for a drive or a walk eating popsicle sticks on a hot and humid day.

 

Power of Love by Kacey Johansing

Listen when: you’re sad for no reason and you just need to hear something mellow.

 

I Love You So by The Walters

Listen when: you’re feeling so in love you feel you’re heart’s going to burst.

 

Stomp The Yard by Fantasy Guys

Listen when: you’re feeling lazy at home.

 

 

Glowing Brightly by Florist

Listen when: you’re in the mood to cook something up in your little kitchen.

 

falling for u by peachy

Listen when: you’re sipping your favorite cup of coffee.

 

Love these tunes? Tell me what’s your favorite!

#LifeLately

Ah, I miss this- sitting in a coffee shop, people watching, and  getting to write for my blog again. I feel really bad that I don’t spend as much time for my online journal now as I did before. I used to write so consistently around here but now that life has gone pretty hectic and my hands full, it’s a luxury to even find the time to do so. So now here I am, all giddy and excited to share how I’ve been.

In my recent post, I’ve expressed the stress and anxiety that I’ve experienced for the previous months. Well, apparently those things were true. Imagine having a day job, studying for grad school, and running a website with my friend? I had a lot of stuff on my plate. My body wasn’t reacting well with the stress I was feeling thus the frequent migraines I have felt. It was just terrible. Know the feeling of wanting to hit your head so hard on the wall? Yup, that was it. But amidst all those, I’ve held up pretty well, even though I still have a lot to learn from becoming a mindful and graceful person. I’ll get there, for sure.

I’ve also just recently cut my hair this short- one of the few, remarkable things that occurred. I was getting annoyed with how thick and long my hair was getting. Not to mention, I looked 5 years older than my real age with that hair so I was both excited and nervous to get rid off it. Originally, I had asked the hairstylist to just trim it an inch but she ended up cutting it all up shorter than I had expected. At the beginning, I was scared of how short it looked like but later on, I felt much better. Maybe a change of hairstyle wasn’t so bad after all. I was feeling a lot confident with the short ‘do I was having.

There was nothing more that I wanted than to have my me-time with a book. Nothing really compares to the comfort of having a book with you so I bought one after being swallowed up by all the academic papers. It’s a new book by the famous John Green. Man, the sound of every page flick and the smell of every page, is enough to make me fall in love. It’s the little things, you see.

I’m returning to work tomorrow after a few holidays out of the office. I don’t know if I’m set out again to see my desk but for now, I’ll sip my favorite Southern Blend Tea, and write like I used to.

 

A

 

Hello there~

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I can’t even begin to explain how exhausting the past few months and weeks have been. Apparently, trying to balance my day job and pursuing graduate school has taken a toll on me. All the demands from my work and classes clash in all at once. It was too much to handle and it’s true what they say, at some point, it would make you go crazy. I can’t imagine what the next semesters and years have in store for me. I mean, this is just the beginning of it all. Phew.

I was doing my best to handle everything in my own hands; foregoing rest, not getting enough sleep, and cancelling on other plans, but I simply ended up feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. My anxiety and migraine was acting up frequently. There are days when the headaches were unbearable and I would just sleep off to ease the pain. Truly, there is nothing glorious about stressing yourself out for working a lot. I’m used to challenge ever since college but I guess things have changed now. Self-care is too a familiar word yet I can’t seem to take a hold of it.

I got by with the help of friends and family who constantly pushed me to move forward a busy week ahead. I prayed so much to God that He sustain me. His strength was all I needed, for certain. Now I’m getting back on track, regaining some strength, as it seems. Days at work keep me engaged and occupied but I’m finally done with all of my papers and tests in school. I can’t wait to start on my reading list and drink a cup of coffee peacefully at my favorite coffee shop without worries clouding up my head.

 

A

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Someday so soon
you will pour out all this love
without a doubt;
you will love
and be loved
so tremendously-
like owning the world
right in your hands
and it would no longer feel like
defeat
but every piece missing
but now found
is victory.

-alve aranton

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When I look at you,
I am always reminded of the one thing
most old people say,
that the best is yet to come.
And surely you did
arrive
right in time when I least knew,
like a surprise-
bursting out,
making my heart beat twice more than it should.
You came in,
never leaving me
a thousand hesitations
like the ones who came before
but instead,
certainty was all you could give.
I now look back
and think,
this must be it
what they say,
because I have never heard love
more reassuring than yours.

Best // Alve Aranton

The Thing About Uncertainty

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Photo via Brooke Carli

Most days I feel alright, but some days like today, I don’t feel quite my best. In fact, I’m starting to lose motivation in my tasks. I keep looking for motivation elsewhere but my lazy bum ass can’t seem to find it. You see, I’m at a point in my life where I’m starting to ask questions yet again; about my job, my career or just simply where life will take me in general.

People who know me well that I live to write. I’ve always imagined it- writing articles for a newspaper or famous magazine, starting my very own novel in my apartment, but that is far from where I really am now. The dream job is elusive to its dreamers. It’s been a year working behind a desk, in an office, for 8 (or more) hours a day facing students, working on statistics and numbers, research and other stuff the administration demands of me. And I can’t really help but have the urge to stomp out of the office, scream my lungs out to the universe and beg for  a little chance encounter with writing. I wanted to write if I could most days but I couldn’t. I want to spill out fully but when I do, it seems that my words aren’t really there or that I’m just exhausted from a hard day’s labor. My heart and my head are all too noisy arguing, contradicting, which makes up for really terrible writing, I must say.

So many what-ifs surge upon me and I am brought back to the thoughts buzzing inside my head again. What if I had lived an entirely different life than this? What if I flew to a different city and followed where my pen and paper will take me? Had I been courageous enough, would I be happier and more content? Would I even be mulling over the possibilities so far out of my reach like what I constantly do now? The answer to those questions, I’ll probably never really know.

I thought that by now I had figured things out on my own, settling with what I have and accept that this is just how things are but no, we will always feel this way. The uncertainty will always be here, looming above us all, going on and on.

Maybe the dream is still a faraway thing and I’m left with waiting for now. If this is what God sees appropriate for me then I’ll just bloom and grow right where I’m planted.

Artists’ Night: A Creative Gathering

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Last Saturday, September 2, 2017, I was able to participate in a creative gathering hosted by Chingkee Te (chingkeetea). Chingkee has partnered with Vivre, our website, for so many several creative activities already and after planning about having a dinner where local creatives could take part in, it finally came into fruition. She provided everything- from the beautiful venue, to the amazing food and table set-up we had that night.

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She invited over few local artists for the gathering, where we could meet each other, create art and talk about our next big project, spearheaded by her.

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The dinner took place at Pacifico Hotel E-Bar. We were already at the place by 5:00 p.m so we could catch the sunset before our very eyes. The venue adorned with the sunset was just perfect! There was also jazz music looming over us as Chingkee brought her vinyl player and newly-bought jazz records from Satchmi.

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After finishing up our food, we gathered at the lounge area to finally talk about our project. But before that, we shared our poetry to the group. So for the first time, I read my poetry out loud. I don’t usually do it but right then and there I was able to. I got slightly nervous because people intently listened to me but after their applause I felt much better. Our project is still under wraps but it’s something that goes in #INDIGO. We’re keeping our mouths zipped yet but promise, it’s going to be worth the wait. Chingkee has chosen us to be a part of it and I couldn’t thank her enough for being so humble and genuine in all of this. She’s such an amazing person, I tell you that!

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We had a mini shoot right after the dinner so the night ended with a lot of photos! The night went on intimately and peacefully. Definitely, it was a much-needed time away from work and graduate school!

 

5 Reasons Why You Should Watch ‘Suspicious Partner’ ASAP

After the recently concluded SBS Drama Suspicious Partner, I am, most definitely, having a difficult time moving on from the series. Call me a fangirl but that’s just how it is when a Kdrama has you hooked! Centered on the world of lawyers and prosecutors, the drama’s mixture of crime, thriller and swoon-worthy romance will have your eyes glued to the screen. If you haven’t seen it yet by now, well here are some reasons why you should:

  1. Strong female protagonist

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Eun Bong Hee (Nam Ji Hyun) isn’t an ordinary woman. Though she struggled making a name for herself as a lawyer wrongly accused of killing her cheating boyfriend, she still fights everyday to prove her innocence. Her bubbly, optimistic personality also shines bright in the series. Not only does she kick ass in the courtroom but also of perverts in the streets. Having earned a black belt in Taekwondo, she definitely is a woman you don’t want to mess with.

2. Swoon-worthy male lead

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I don’t know about you but Ji Chang Wook makes a fangirl out of anyone. His past series (The K2, Healer and Empress Ki) proved he’s the man of our dreams! In the series, Ji Chang Wook plays No Ji Wook- the stubborn yet forthright prosecutor with a dark past who saves Bong Hee from getting imprisoned for life. Having revealed fabricated evidence from the crime scene, Ji Wook resigns as prosecutor and settles into being a private attorney. In his own firm, he takes Bong Hee into his wing and the rest of romantic history finally occurs. He manages to be playful, childlike and gooey romantic around Bong Hee’s presence all throughout the drama. I mean, he cooks her food when she’s starving, hugs her tight even when she hasn’t washed in days and takes care of her when she’s sprained an ankle? Go get yourself a man who can do both!

3. The villain

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You’ll hate him for being a serial killer or pity him for his past. Either way, he can get you fooled in a matter of seconds. Dong Ha as the murderous Jung Hyun Soo played one hell of a psycho and he did effortlessly quite well with it.

4. The gang

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There isn’t a single boring day in Ji Wook’s lawfirm. Their presence alone is a colorful addition to the series. You’ll love their inside jokes, funny banter and witty conversations.

5. Every little romantic detail in the series!

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I never knew Nam Ji Hyun and Ji Chang Wook’s team-up in the series could actually work. It went even beyond all of my expectations. On and off-cam (their BTS takes are so kilig!), chemistry oozes off of them. All the romantic things Ji Wook has done for Bong hee truly makes the series on top of my romantic comedy list.

See the series for yourself here: drama3s.com