I was overcome with a huge wave of hesitation and nervousness about four months ago when I was asked to teach classes this year. The fact that we were just coursing our way through this whole online working scheme back then, and then there I was being suddenly thrust into teaching Psychology classes, really made me anxious. I haven’t taught any classes before so the feeling of working on something so unfamiliar made me doubt myself. Other than that, I was painfully awkward and shy around people that having to face people online while they listen to you for an hour so, gives me an endless amount of jitters.
Our semesters are divided into two so when you look at it, it’s still pretty loaded. I honestly didn’t have that much time to pause and rest. If I do, it only ever made me feel guilty and all the more did worry about yet another workday. Teaching online really did take up so much of my time. I would study materials, prepare presentations and discuss them. When another class day would end, I’d have to prepare for yet another day or week of sessions. It really was a never-ending cycle. Never have I craved more for an 8 hours worth of sleep.
Part of the biggest hurdle that a teacher would have to get past through when teaching online, is getting your students’ attention. Now in the online world, you can only do so much. At times they’d turn their cameras off you and it would all feel like you’re talking to a thick, brick wall. It kind of is disappointing sometimes but you’ve got to make do with what you have. I try to shrug that feeling off so I could get past it, deliver my work and move forward. I have to say, not only did I learn from my students this semester but also, I did learn a lot about myself too when I was teaching. You see, I never really thought I could do it. Being the shy, socially awkward person that I am, taking a huge leap beyond my comfort zone always makes me feel apprehensive at first. The doubt and fear was always there at the beginning but as the days and months went on, I fought them over and did what I could do best. I learned so they could too even when it took time and energy.
I never knew I could appreciate teaching Psychology now more than ever by making my students love it as it should be– that it is one of the most interesting and promising fields out there. And one day, I hope that when they look back, they will have appreciated every tiny concept and know they’ve learned all of it even at a time as uncertain and as frightening as this. I am crossing my fingers I’ve made a difference even at the tiniest bit.
I can’t entirely say teaching is my most favorite vocation to pursue but I can attest that it is the most underappreciated yet most fulfilling job there is.
Love Is Written Here 